Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My bitter valentine

Just want to share to you guys about what happened to me on last year valentine day.It was very bitter for me.I never felt how really scorned i am that time.

The day before valentine's day,i already set up myself to accepted her to be my only one and officially girlfriend that night on 12 a.m sharp.That means the first second on valentine's day.I really hope she accepted me as her boyfriend because i love her so much.I sacrificed everything for her even my family and myself.I put my faith on her.She was the only one i got and love that time.I really-really in loved with her.I really wished we could be together and she would be mine forever.

My only aim for that day was to made her happy.I want her to be happy because tonight,i will make her more happier.I want her to remembered this memorable and happy day for both of us.In the morning,i took her to a park and we really had a great time there.We jogged together and met her friends too.In the afternoon,we went to KFC and had our lunch together.I was so happy because she was so happy that time.In the evening,we went again to the park and played the playground together.At dust,i sent her to her friend house to let her bath and prepared herself for tonight hang out.

That night,i wore her favorite tee's and pants.She only praised me once but it's okay for me.She looked very happy that night.She kept sing along to the radio and play the radio loudly.I was so happy when i saw her happy.I've become more confidence about what she will said tonight.I brought her to Nz Bawah  because she really loved that place.Before we went there,i brought my friends too,because i want them to be the witness for both of us that we were one starting 14 February.

I bought for her all her favorite foods and drinks.She was so happy that time.She kept talking to me about us and i really can't wait for 14 February to came.After 2 hours of waiting,at last,its already 14 February.Firstly,she wished her friend valentine's day wishes.After that she texts and called all her friends valentine's day.I also saw she received many valentine's day texts from boys and girls.I kept waiting for her to asked me to be her boyfriend or just valentine wishes from her mouth but nothing happened.She wished all my friends except me.

I'd waited her until we want to went back home.Its already one hour but she still didn't talked to me at all.Like always,she will be the first one to went to the car.In the car,i asked her "You said you love me and want to be with me?why you just remain silent and keep me waiting?"After a few seconds,she answered,"easy come easy go.It was easier for us to met me and i don't think we were equal enough"."I was so shocked and very unsatisfied with her answer.We argued a little but our conversation was interfered by my friends.

So i went back home with a broken heart.I want to cry but i force myself not to cry.My friends keep asking me "ko dah couple ke?"i just lied to them that we already been together to make them satisfied and not mad at her.When i sent her back home,i kept watching her face.She didn't looked at me at all.I was so down and i really can't face the truth.I kept  myself patient because i was really-really sad that time.I don't know what to do and i was really down.

When i came back home,i took my phone and called her.I want to met her and i want to talk with her.I really need her in my life.So i asked her to meet her,luckily,she said she can.So i drove my car and went to her friend's house.We met at the top of the condominium.When i reached,she already there.The wind blows very strong that night.I wished that she was just acting in the car or maybe she just ashamed to ask me in front of our friends that she want to be my girlfriend.

So i asked her,"Can you explain what happened in the car just now?"She said "I've already told you.We were not equal and not mean together".I  was so down and asked "What do you mean by that?""What do i mean?what i meant is we are not suitable to be a couple.We are suitable to be friends only " she said with a little high tone.I was so shocked and started to look down.Slowly i said "Please,i want to be with you.I really love you." She took a deep breath and said "i prefer we continue our relationship like this.We can still contact and i really happy to be with you like this.We also can know who's loyal and who's not."

I can't accept her answer and quickly asked "You rejected me and said you want to be with me after i asked you to be with me twice!You also said that you willing to ask me to be your boyfriend and we will officially be a couple on valentine's day.So what is this?can you explain?"So she said "I'm so sorry.I am not ready yet to be  your girlfriend.I am not ready yet to be anyone's girlfriend.I can't.I'm not ready yet."My body start to froze and my hands start to cold.I can't believed what i saw and heard.She said with no expressions on her face.It seems like it was nothing for her.Our relationship was nothing and mostly i am nothing to her.

"Please,why you still can't accept me?am i not good enough for you.I gave you everything.Please".So i asked her to be with me again for the 3rd time.I asked her again shivering " I really love you.Can i be with you.Can you be my girlfriend ?" She looked away and said " I'm still with my answer.If this was your reason to met me,i think its was  better we should not have meet" angrily.

I couldn't resist myself anymore.I ran away to the lift and went down.My tears started to dropped and i can't take it anymore.When i at the lobby.I kept crying and hope she will chased me.But it all was nothing.I went to my car and drove away back home.I cried badly that day.I can't accept what was happening.It was so pain for me to bear.There was no any texts and call from her.I kept crying and waiting until i fall asleep.

After a few days,i contacted her back.We still met and have fun like usually.I never asked her about what happened on valentine's day.We continued like that until she was lost after a few days.I don't know where she was lost and i was so sad.I try to searched her everywhere but i failed.I was so sad until i become a loner.I can't accept that she was gone and not my lover.

When i think back nowadays,i know its really shameful to begging for a 16 years old  girl her true love.Its really shameful and also i still put my faith on her after he rejected me for 3 times.Its hard for me to find other girl because i love her so much.It leads me no choice but i still be with her even tough we were friends only.What can i do?when i said i really love someone,i really love her so much more than myself and anything.I don't care if she rejected me because i love her.I still can wait her.I kept telling myself that this all was just a  test.Maybe i taste the bitter shit first before i taste the sweetness of happiness.I still believed that we could be one and she would be mine.I just need to sacrifice a little bit more harder and push myself to be her perfect boyfriend.I don't know how much money and time i sacrificed for her.Life must go on,everything happened for a reason right?so just move on.

After a few month,thank god a lot of her friends tell me her true story.I was totally owned by her.Evidence by evidence and time by time i slowly can accept that she was not meant for me.I started to move on and searching for a new girlfriend.I was a loner,so i need someone to company me.I still remember my stupid and sick status on facebook.HAHA!

On November 14th 2010,my life were changed by Baby Diera.She bring light into my life and slowly bring me up after i down for a several times.She was the only one i want.She was so perfect to me.She got what i want.She was the one that i always wanted in my life.She make my life more happier than before.I was so happy with her.She is the one that are meant to me.I want to be with her forever.I love her so much.She was the sweetest person i ever met in my life.She was the cutest girl for me.The first moment i met her,i was totally owned by her.I fall in love and that will be the first time i shy when i met a girl.HAHAHHAHAHA!Thank you Allah for letting us be together until this moment.I really thankful to you for giving me the chance to share my time and life with your precious creature Baby Diera.Thank you so much!I love you Baby Diera ! I LOVE YOU MY CUTE BABY PRINCESS.I LOVE YOU MY STRAWBERRY GIRL!I LOVE YOU MY GEDIK GIRL!I LOVE YOU MY SUNSHINE!I LOVE YOU MY EVERYTHING!I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH !! I WANT TO PINCH YOUR CUTE CHEEKS !!! HAHAHAHA!


Thanks for reading . I hope you like it . Come here again . Have a nice day :)

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